Lately, I've been reflecting on the surprising paradox that bullies are often also whiners. Or whiners are often bullies.
"They (he) (she) is/are treating me unfairly."
This can be a surprisingly effective technique for getting one's own way.
Neither whining nor bullying is a grown-up way of dealing with conflict. Grown-ups may be very sensitive to treating other people fairly. They are seldom obsessed with how others treat them.
Another bullying technique is to focus on excessively literal reading of rules. Bullies distrust the exercise of judgment by others.
Since most people think of bullying and whining as separate things, I thought I'd see if anyone else sees a possible connection. I found at least one expert who sees it my way. Ben Leichtling's analysis of bullies who use moaning to take control and power is pretty clear. His list of suggestions for what to do about it is also helpful.
What if his suggestions don't work? I would like the answer to that.
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1 comment:
I find it amusing that a known bully like you is whining about whiners. You are a hypocrite. You have yelled and attempted to intimidate fellow election board members with impunity, in public, on the record, then talk about bully's whining. Curious. It seems to me that you resent any idea brought to the board that is not yours. The local joke is that you are used to being the smartest man in the room... just ask you. I will be following your antics with great interest as you are a source of great amusement.
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