Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Ruminations On Growing Old

In honor of my birthday earlier this month, I thought it well to remember a poem on the subject of age:


"You are old, Father William," the young man said,
"And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head—
Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
"I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door—
Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
"I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box—
Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "And your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak—
Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose—
What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"
Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!"

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Glory To Ukraine

On February 23 2014 in Sofia, Bulgaria, unknown artists decorated the memorial to Soviet soldiers in the national colors of Ukraine in honor of the Ukrainian revolution. They painted the slogan "Glory to Ukraine."

Russians object to it as "vandalism."  No, it is irreverent humor, not vandalism.

Three cheers for irreverence!

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Friday The Thirteenth

Friday the thirteenth comes on Sunday this month.

I am indebted to the late Walt Kelly for this insight into the calendar.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Now Here's My Plan:

When in a difficult situation ("sticky wicket"), it's always best to plan ahead.

My favorite graphic depiction of the planning process is in this Shel Silverstein cartoon:

Professional planners will get the point.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

My Job

Just want to share a little poem that makes a point some may agree with:

It’s not my job to drive the train,
The whistle I can’t blow.
It’s not my job to say how far
The train’s allowed to go.
It’s not my job to blow the horn,
Nor even clang the bell.
But let the damn thing jump the track
And see who catches hell.

Maybe a better title would be: NOT MY JOB

Friday, August 31, 2012

Jim Hightower

I really miss Molly Ivins, but at least we still have Jim Hightower. I just came across his web site by accident and felt I must share it. Here it is.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Isn't Thanksgiving Over?

Another post from Making Light that I feel compelled to share. I think the insights can be recycled for those who have turkey for Christmas, also. This from November 24:

November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving
Posted by Jim Macdonald at 10:38 AM * 42 comments Q. Why do turkeys go “gobble gobble”?
A. Because they have terrible table manners.
Q, What’s big and green and goes “gobble gobble”?
A. Turkeysaurus Rex
Q. What’s inside a genie’s turkey?
A. Three wishbones.
Q. How many cranberries grow on a bush?
A. All of them.
Q. Why did the turkey cross the road?
A. The chicken gets major holidays off.
Q. What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A. He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Q. What does Godzilla eat on Thanksgiving?
A. Squash.
Q. What do mathematicians do on Thanksgiving?
A. Count their blessings.
Q. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
A. The letter G.